Songs You'd Never Walk The Aisle To

There's many a soul in my world planning weddings at present. It's the new black. Although according to Lady Gaga, Jesus is the new black and as she seems to know her fashion I'd best not contradict. Perhaps planning a wedding could be the new tweed?

Well drape yourself in your best country suit and allow me to aid your wedding planning with the top ten contributions ever made to a game I like to play on long car trips; "Songs you'd never walk the aisle to."

10. Jennifer Paige, "Crush", 1997. Apart from the actual saying of the thing, no words quite portray the sentiment of "til death do us part" better than "It's just a little crush, not like I faint every time we touch".

9. Death Cab for Cutie, The Sound of Settling, 2005

8. Bob Dylan, It Ain't Me Babe, 1964

7. Jessica Mauboy, "Inescapable", 2011 "I'll be inescapable, unshakable, incapable. You won't get rid of me. I'm gonna get to you and wear wear wear you down" These lyrics really revamp the term "ball and chain" with something a little more permanent and more promising of grievous bodily harm, such as "Manic, obsessive psychopath with malicious tenancies. Constant care recommended"

6. Starland Vocal Band, "Afternoon Delight", 1976. Well now that's just awkward and if you need me to explain, then that's just more awkward still.

5. Ben Folds Five, "Song for the Dumped", 1998 There's several good reasons to leave this one out of the wedding plans. Firstly I feel an air of ill-omen over the words "I want my money back, I want my money back and don't forget to give me back my black T-shirt." Second is that these were nigh on being the only PG lyrics I could find to copy&paste and if you're still not sold let me further convince you with a third reason. Brace yourself. There's a 90210 episode named after this song. Does anyone want to think of Ian Ziering on their wedding day?

4. Adele, anything, ever. Oh look I even have 21 but it's not really isle music is it? To quote my favourite Facebook group ever "Listening to Adele whilst crying naked on the bathroom floor."

3. Kings of Leon, Knocked Up, 2007.

2. Kanye West, Gold digger, 2004.

1. Meatloaf, "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad", 1977 "I want you, I need you But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you. Now don't be sad, 'Cause two out of three ain't bad." Now why did Meatloaf never make the switch to politics with such fine negotiating skills? Surely there's a seat in Arkansas for a man like this?



According to the very clever Wordpress head honchos, a good blog should have lots of pictures. True story. Here's the link to prove it http://wp.me/PEmnE-1Lo. Nuff Said.

So in the light of that here's a picture from a long time ago of me at a wedding. Just to prove to you all that I have been to at least one of the things and know how to properly behave in said circumstances.

[caption id="attachment_58" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="One look at you and I can't disguise"][/caption]

J xxxo

P.S. This game began in 2003 and will continue on for as long as the song that never ends, so if you've a pithy addition to make, feel free to do just that by posting a comment below.